Hanging Pedos by their Bollocks from a Lamp Post 1 - Sex Stories

Hanging Pedos by their Bollocks from a Lamp Post 1

... John Reynolds the gay Assistant Chief Constable pervert from the flag pole outside the queers club in Argyll street last night," he said, "By the Bollocks while your mate Alan caused a diversion." "How is he?" I asked. "Fucking dead he fell fifteen feet onto his head when his bollocks ripped off." he said. "I meant Alan," I explained. "Having bits of sunroof glass dug out of his ass at the infirmary," the sergeant said "Now PC Mulholland has confirmed you were at the Club all evening so keep your nose clean lad," he continued, "And hang them from a bloody lamp post next time." "Can I get you a cup of Tea Sergeant?" Mum asked. "No thanks," he said with a look like he had tasted mothers tea before, "I better get back, we're got half the queers in Whetherby banged up at the station on suspicion of ABH manslaughter, I'd better get on." I stared at the rope and vowed to use gloves next time. ===================================================== "John," Sandra said between sucks later as she woke me with a blow job, "Did you know Councillors get nine thousand quid a year for doing fuck all?" "No," I agreed, "No fucking womder Al wants to do it!" "You should do it" she said. "Sand," I says, "Get yourself some mouthwash I want to kiss you!" "Oi," she says "That's out of order," but she did and she climbed on my cock as I lay there and I kissed her mouth, she tasted real nice and minty, and she had to do all the work to bring me off. I had a word with Al and he said come down the ...

... meeting room and have a chat to the Committee, it sounded all right, so I went to see Stan Greening and Margaret Ash down Whetherby Liberal Association's office in Clare Street, a grotty little place over Mr Plaice the kebab shop. They kept me hanging about for ages, and then asked all these stupid questions like "How long have you been interested in Politics Mr Althwaite?" they asked. "Since yesterday why?" I asked "Oh, and what would like to see change in the next four years?" they asked. "Get rid of the Pedophiles mainly," I said. "And?" Miss Ash added. "The queers." I added, "And pay the workers more." "What about Immigrants?" Stan asked. "Oh yes, and them." I agreed. "Mr Althwaite seventy per cent of our active members are lesbian or homosexual!" Miss Ash exclaimed. "Right, I got nothing against Lesbians," I said, "Al's got some good videos of." "Mr Althwaite, please!" Miss Ash exclaimed as she blushed crimson, "Look Im not saying I want to watch you," I reassured her. "Ugh you horrible, horrible man," she says losing her marbles. "Mr Althwaite," Stan Greening suggested, "I suggest you try the BNP if you wish to become a councillor, now please leave." I bet he regretted saying that, dopy bugger. "Right, thanks," I said, "For nowt!" and I stormed off out, fucking BNP for christs sake, load of morons, spiky haired thugs, I knew they met in the Flying Pig on Rosamund street so I went straight round. "You right Johnno?" someone asked, it were Norman Biggins from the Butchers, ...