Hanging Pedos by their Bollocks from a Lamp Post 1 - Sex Stories

Hanging Pedos by their Bollocks from a Lamp Post 1

... because it was a day off for the Muslims. "And if you don't like the BNP write summat nasty like "Fuck the BNP," across ballot paper," I suggested. I don't remember the election, I had ten pints at dinner time and a few more after tea and we went down Town Hall, I sort of slumped in a chair and then after a lot of fuss the results were announced. "Ah hem," some weasly little council git said and woke me up, "Mr Althwaite would you please come and check the spoiled ballot papers." "Why?" I asked. "There are rather a lot of them," he said, "Please!" Christ was he right, this huge pile, "Most say something rude about the BNP," he said as he showed me them one by one. "So?" I said, "Two hundred and six out of one three hundred and eighteen ballot papers issued." he said, "Said Fuck the BNP or something similar." "So they fucking hate me," I said "Big deal!" "But of the unspoiled papers you had fifty two votes," he said, "The UK Independence Party candidate thirty eight and." "You won!" Sandra said, "Johnno, you won!" "Fucking hell!" I said and I fainted. I woke up on a trolley in casualty with a TV blokes microphone in me face, "Congratulations Mr Allthwaite," he said, "What do you hope to achieve by this momentous victory." "Clear the place of Pedo's" I suggested. "Hang them from lamp posts by their bollocks?" he asked. "No that's Lib Dems," I said, "It don't work their bollocks come off, no stick a meat hook up their ass and let them swing from that!" I said. And he fainted.