Hanging Pedos by their Bollocks from a Lamp Post 1 - Sex Stories

Hanging Pedos by their Bollocks from a Lamp Post 1

... Police dog dragging behind because he was so over fed and ever got a walk except round the garden when it fancied a shit, anyway they headed us off towards where the railway crossed canal at an angle except Al climbed the wall up to the railway line and I gave Sandra a leg up and climbed up me self and the Pedo's was so out of condition they was way behind and handcuffed anyway and they was left panicking, cause they couldn't climb it. "Swim for it you daft sods," I said and they realised, it was their only hope, so they dived in. not too bright as they was handcuffed but it didn't matter as there was about nine inches water and seven foot of silt in the basin, so they went in head first up to their waists, not that I worried. They looked real queer with their little legs waving in the air when I looked back, "Daft pillocks!" I shouted and we buggered off before the coppers dragged them out. It turned out health and safety rules wouldn't let the coppers into water without an inflatable raft so they got one from Morecombe, which took three hours by which time the Pedo's was well and truly fucked, totally rigor mortis, stiff, stone dead. We went along the tracks for a bit and climbed down by Armstrong street where we had fish and chips at the Chinese take away, like you do, couple of tins of Four X and then went home. "Johnno," Sandra says, "What do you think will happen to those Pedo's" "Rot in fucking hell I guess," Al replied. "Oh I do hope so!" she said like she fancied him ...

... or summat. "Should have hung them by their bollocks," I said, and they nodded. ========================================= I went round with some BNP leaflets next day, "BNP" I says knocking on the doors. "What you going to do for us?" people asked. "Fuck all, I just want the nine grand a year for doing fuck all," I said. "Fucking hell an honest politician," or "Bollocks," or "Fuck off." was the replies. Poor old Al was doing the Lib Dem ones, round the posh bit of town. "You let the students down and the anti tory lobby down and the Yackity Yackity Yack," the Lib Dem supporters banged on, "That Nick Clegg." Poor old Al thought they meant the old codger who cleaned the bogs outside the Town Hall, he never realised Nick Clegg was deputy Prime Minister, and if he did he thought he was a Tory. I had me own troubles, "What about the Pakistanis?" someone asked. "Well who else wants to sell fags at two in the morning, all the corner shops would have to close if they went home," I explained. "What about the Chinese?" they said. "Well who's going to run the chip shop?" I replied and they saw my point. "What about the Muslims," they asked. "Better than the fucking Jehovahs witnesses, and what about the fucking Moonies and Scientologists, most of them are Pedo's." I told them, anyway by dinner time twenty people said they would vote for me and the rest said they wouldn't vote BNP even if there wasn't any other candidate, so reminded them voting was Friday, a day later than anywhere else ...