Hanging Pedos by their Bollocks from a Lamp Post 1 - Sex Stories

Hanging Pedos by their Bollocks from a Lamp Post 1

... concept sink in, "Boy!" "Fuck," said Al as he sobered up really quickly. "You do want to keep your license I take it?" Tony says as he flashes the breathalyzer at Al. "Yeah," he says. "So like you were heard saying in the Pub," Tony offered, "These two hanging by their balls by next Friday, I don't care where, just hanging by their balls." "But!" I protested. "Do it!" says Tony, "Or bye bye Mr License." Al was really sober now, Tony went back to the Ford Focus Panda car where Sergeant Fforbes was screwing Doris Arkwright the ageing peroxide blonde 42E neighbourhood tart in the back seat, and Al quickly started the van and we headed off as fast as we could, taking the short cut across the allotments without opening the gate first! He dropped me round our gaff first and headed home, my head was banging so I went down te garden and sat on the privvy for a while, watching the clouds fly across the moon through the gap over the door. I must have fallen asleep because the door opened and the creak of the hinges woke me up, "Fuck!" a bored young female voice exclaimed, "There's some pillock in here." It was Sandra from next door, with fifty something bald fat git Clive Andrews from number 10 looking for somewhere warm and out of his missus way to have a fuck. Clive was old enough to be Sandra's grand dad but he was her dad's boss so she kept him sweet if you understand, the dirty old bastard. "Your all right," I said, "I'm done." "I'll make it up to you," says Sandra. "Not till ...

... you leave school you won't," I told her. "Daft bugger I'm on the game full time since January," she laughed, "So sod off give us some privacy." I slipped away in the house and up to bed. I went to work next day, did me two hours and went home, well what do you expect for the money the Council pay, well we was privatised really but it was same as council like, so we did half a dozen pot holes and then sold the Tar to a gang of Paddies for doing a driveway and lent them the truck for the rest of the day, nice little earner. I had a little kip before we took the truck back to the depot around four and then I stopped off at the Internet Cafe to check me Facebook. "I owes you one," Sandra said as she came in, all slim and fit like, like one of them women athletes me dad likes watching on telly, not enough tit for me really but. "You going to give me one then?" I asked. "Yes," she said quietly, "If you like." "Uh," I said and swallowed, "Christ, it would be like screwing my own sister." "Why?" she asked. "Because I remember when you was born." I explained. "No you don't you was only two." she said, as she peered at me with her big brown eyes, sad brown eyes, matching her brown hair, and her yellowed teeth from too many fags. "Just doing it mind, not going out." I suggested. "Yes!" she said with a big smile, "Me Mam goes to Bingo tonight and Dad's got Band practice, so you come round after tea." "I will," I agreed, "I will!" I got and checked me emails, Donald Duck 333 at somewhere ...