Woody 01 - Sex Stories

Woody 01

... so?"

Like there is any such thing as a 20 paces crush! With the name of Gino because my 20 paces crush's name was Tyler. And our standoff was exactly 10 paces each, but in my favor because I at least twist on the balls of my feet in Tyler's direction when he would check me out, which he did do, like every time, which means he started it, the end.

"And next time, Woody, pick a side of your mouth for your beauty spot dot and stick with it because one time, it's on the left and then the next time it's on the right and guys get confused very easily, so."

Well, that's not my fault because sometimes I use different mirrors in my house everybody knows that no two mirrors reflect back exactly the same, right?

[Blinks blankly a couple of times, but then decides to finally close the 20 paces gap]

"Oh, I mean, hi, because I mean, hey there because I mean, I'm only closing the gap tonight so you can freely state if you have more than three things that you don't like about me because your two eyes say it differently, so, um, hi because, um, I'll start by saying that I toned down my cheeks shading by a factor of three tonight by going from red "flushed" to just flesh "blushed" and now it's your turn, Tyler, so?"

I mean, this is part in the movie when the hero caves in and confesses his true and undying feelings and then the movie ends with a house and a white picket fence in the country side, right? Especially since I had the best lines in the movie script, right, ...

... folks?

"For one, you're a Boi boy and for two, I'm not that way and for three, we should widen the gap to 26 paces, 13 paces each and in my favor, Woody, so?"

Well, that was disheartening. But not too unusual for people like me, I suppose. But at least he said my name out loud, right? I mean, even the smallest of wins count. Except for how brutal that was, which is exactly the same as "bye forever" and that's that.

[Scream, stab, run, trip with table, scream, stab, run, scream, stab, slam door on face, run, scream, stab]

Well, I guess all you need is an original script, an eraser and a pencil to keep the franchise going, right?

Anyways, that was one example of my failures, just FYI.

[Weep, incoming apology text from the 20 to 26 paces crush]

"Don't lose my number, Woody!"

[Whoop, hah, an expanding the pace space response!]

Well, never mind since I didn't delete his number from my phone. Um, moving on again because what's important is that I'm a member of the crew and another member of my crew, Carl, was due over to pick me up for a trip to the grocery store for game day food because, ahem, I can get into a running car with my guys without fear!

[Knock, knock, the front door opens with gleeful anticipation because it may not have been properly stated above that Woody is a gleeful Trap]

"Ta, da, come on in, oh, oh, Robert, I mean, oh, Robert, it's you instead of Carl then, um, did that sound less then gleeful because I really didn't mean it that way, ...