Dipper Ch. 01 - Sex Stories

Dipper Ch. 01

... clue or what, hmm?"

"Dipper, I mean, we mean, I mean, we mean, I mean, we mean, um, we want turns with you, so?"

Um, was that a legit pickup line, folks? Or just nervous horny talk?

"Well then, Hank, who could resist an offer like that then because rumor has it that babbling horny talk works 5% of time, right? Anyways, what's your stupid and poorly structure clue and then while I'm deciphering it, you come up with a better pickup line to get me into your SUV, okay?"

"(Tee he, we got this Boi bitch now, Hank! Our clue is impossible!)"

[Hands off the seemingly impossible scavenger hunt clue to trick sex out of Strawberry Fields, I mean, Dipper]

"Hmm, oh, "I see you much more than you see me, but follow the glowing and flameless fire pathway and it will lead thee to my gateway to come see me" then hmm? That's easy, that's Madam Murielle's fortune telling lair with the metal gates, right next to the Lava Java Coffee shop half way up the Strip, so?"

"Ugh, get in my SUV with us, Dipper!"

"No, Hank and no, Mark, so?"

"Ugh, you can compare us, Dipper!"

[Huh, his lips started quivering]

"Oh, oh, that's tempting, Hank, but since you were my crush going back as far as, um, as far back as way back, there is no way in hell that I will allow for a rumor that I went the way of a 3-way with my secret boyfriend and his best bud, so?"

I mean, Hank has always been pretty cool with me. But once I saw his lips start to quiver, I mean, circle back above ...

... somewhere because I already said that's what I do.

"Damn it, Dipper, you made Hank pass out from hearing you say that! Also, is that at all true because I'll wear a blindfold and shut my mouth forever!"

"Hmm, it's half and half true, Mark. Hank has always had the corner of my eye and I often wondered what his pyramid strawberry might look like or how it might fit between my puckered..."

Well, Mark passed out too before I could even finish that sentence.

"(Beep, beep) are you finished playing with the boys now, Dipper, huh?"

"Oh, hey there, Rodger, I mean, well, yeah, what's up? Need a little quippy help with your scavenger hunt clue or something? And I just now realized that I like the word quippy, so?"

[Wait a minute! Dipper turns down two vehicles, but just gets into Rodger's pickup truck?]

"Um, I'm pulling away from the festival grounds parking lot then, Dipper, so?"

"And I'm in your side seat and going where your truck goes, so, am I removing my warmup jacket then as your side seat rider, Rodger? Rumor has always had it that you looked at me in the locker room before, especially I always looked back over my shoulder at you, so?"

[Zip, zip, sleeve pull, zip, sleeve pull, huh, this is new from Dipper, zip, over the shoulders and off!]

"Oh, absolutely to keep it clean because I'm looking forward to the strawberry girlfriend experience tonight, Dipper because rumor has it that you can be overwhelmed with too much strawberry seeds, if the strawberry ...