1. ### 2015-06-28: Blog


    Date: 1/30/2016, Categories: News, Author: AnnaSiciliana 

    ... rollercoaster ride has drained my resources considerably. (Memo to self: Do not discuss gun control with americans.) I don't really talk that much about myself, partly because I have the inclination to retch whenever I read other author's "author notes" or "updates" of which 90% can be summed up as "(working on / just published / am behind on) new story". Well, I am all of the above. But right now, I'm fucking drained. (Memo to self: Do not exhaust your energy on debates with trolls.) I have an inclination to depression. That doesn't mean I'm chronically depressed, only that my mental "skin" is, for reasons, quite thin. Nothing I can do about that, "grow a thicker skin" is not exactly useful advice. So. I tend to get involved in things that will very quickly go under my skin and then it eats at me. (Memo to self: Do not talk to stalkers.) My mood is on a cyclical swing, and months of pretty good mood and productivity are followed by months of dejection. I do not think it's "manic-depressive" because it's not very severe, but what do I know? On top of it all, I work in a very stressful job (which we all do; what job today isn't stressful?) and that alone creates a constant atmosphere of pressure and upheaval. I do not cope well with either. (Memo to self: ?) I thought writing itself was my relief from all that, and it is; it's the "social" aspect of it that's exhausting. I try to keep in touch with fans, I make friends, I find affection and submission and love. But I'm an ...
    ... introvert. Social interaction is exhausting to me. And negative social interaction (trolls, stalkers, haters) is doubly exhausting. (Memo to self: Find better strategy.) So what am I trying to say with all of that? Well, I had to pull the brakes, get away from it for a while and recharge. I can't cope. I can only endure, or not. Right now, I can not. I'm waiting for a time when I can. (Memo to self: Do not discuss In the meantime, I have, in an act of utter stupidity, wiped a virus-infected partition on my computer only to remember that I forgot to back up my latest stories. So, they're gone. That's that. (Memo to self: Do not delete stuff unless you didn't need it for at least a couple of months.) Also, a second Tumblr blog I had started at the beginning of the year got deleted a few weeks ago, again. (Memo to self: Do not bother with Tumblr. Porn pics are fine there, porn stories are not.) So, as a lesson from all that, I've started an overhaul of this website, to use it for a blog and other fun stuff, just to have a place where I can write whatever the fuck I want and control the interaction, am not subject to other people's rules (WTF, Tumblr?) and, when it all fails, at least have a backup of whatever I wrote on here. (Memo to self: Fuck it all.) I might write some more in detail about the experiences of the past weeks and months, but for now, I'm tired, and I bet you are too. So. Good night. ### 2015-01-16: Gone awhile Yeah. Gone for a while. Lots to do, a few stories ...
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