Artie 01 - Sex Stories

Artie 01

... were two competitors from Hillsdale standing and laughing just across the perfectly manicured grassy green area while challenging Nate because he was too far away to stop them and in the next moment, I side armed two spare golf balls and explained it different to them, like clunk, clunk, in the foreheads different.

Tee he, hey there, people, I stuck with Artie as my name because I thought a little more masculine name would deter some guys from trying to just get one thing from me and I've been arrested before!

"Your Honor, I object because I didn't hardly understand a single word the poopy head Prosecutor just said, therefore, here within, albeit, so be it, let there be light, I'm innocent by default, slam your cute little hammer down, the end!"

[Slam the little hammer, bang, slam the little hammer, bang]

"Order in my court this instant, you prissy little missy! You're not innocent until I say so! Ahem, what the poopy head prosecutor just said was mostly in your favor, so..."

"Oh, then let the proceedings carry on then, your Honor, so."

[Slam the little hammer, bang, slam the little hammer, bang]

"Order, I say because I do the saying around here and not you! Where so you think you are, huh? At some pot smoking and beer drinking party where you're probably the hit of the bathroom hallway? Anyways, the poopy head Prosecutor said if you agree to accept a ban for life from literally any golf course in the Middleton area, he'll drop most of the charges and ...

... even help you and your wicked sidearm pitch get a scholarship into CC down on the coast, so, how do you plead now, huh, missy ma'am?"

"Oh, I plead that I have a wicked pleated school girl plaid skirt in my closet that I've yet to wear to a pot smoking and beer drinking party, but since I just now received a text from your grandson to attend his party this Saturday, I accept that I plead crazy, so, am I free to go now, hmm?" Your Honor?"

[Slam the little hammer, bang, slam the little hammer, bang]

"Fricking order, I say again! Well, I have one last thing to say, unless the poopy head Prosecutor has anything else to say or add, so?"

"Um, no, your Honor, the prosecution rests it's case. Well, unless your grandson's party is age limit open, so?"

[Slam the little hammer, bang, slam the little hammer, bang]

"That's enough of that, but I'll check. And as for you, missy prissy, for next time, Daisy Dukes are not appropriate wear for court, time served and two monthly bake sales in the Hoosegow as community service, court adjourned [one last slam down of the cute little hammer]

Well, his Honor was totally wrong about Daisy Dukes being appropriate court wear according to a few other people, so, anyways, back to my story.

So, anyways, um, my totally masculine name didn't deter anybody or anything, the hoosegow jail is scary, especially when they assign you a holding tank based on your birth gender and not your chosen gender and then the word got around that maybe ...