Never In A Million Years (Revised) - ALL TRUE - Sex Stories

Never In A Million Years (Revised) - ALL TRUE

When I used to travel on business I would occasionally post an ad in the Craigs List Men-for-Women section. It was mostly a way to kill time while was alone in a hotel room. I'd write something fun, like "Baby Oil, Wine & Hot Tub - What Could Be Better?" The body of the post would be well written, in complete sentences, with proper punctuation. If you ever looked at CL listings, these basic qualities made the ad stand out from the normal "HMU 2 F$#@" type fare.

As an older white guy (just over 50 when I posted this particular ad), it's not like my in-box got flooded. The responses were mostly from Russian scammers, prostitutes, and drug addicts. Depending on how bored I was, I'd turn the tables on the scammers, be nice to the hookers, and point the addicts toward local treatment centers.

Occasionally, I'd get a hit from a real, genuine human being. Most emails were guys offering blow jobs. Once in a blue moon, a woman would respond.

One day, I received a confidently written response that didn't have the English-as-second-language clues that revealed a foreign scammer. The note simply answered my query about "what could be better." The woman whom I would come to know as Madison wrote, "Chocolate would be better." Opinionated I thought. I like strong women. In addition to the subject line declarative, she wrote only these words, "Are you single?"

Opinionated, laconic and moral.

My response didn't lie. I agreed with her assessment, then offered dark chocolate ...

... along with a body rub. She responded, "Well, I am adamant, so I don't think you can change my mind, although you may be able to seduce my mind. Strong, masculine hands on my soft, pretty body is so enticing and intoxicating. I could use a body rub...I have been working really hard on my thesis and am quite fatigued. I wish I could come. :( I am just very serious about respecting other women and their relationships, even if I don't know them."

The additional detail in her note revealed a deepening curiosity. Expecting nothing more than e-mails - which I knew would end if I offended her or she simply lost interest - I pressed on just for fun. Plus, because I live my work life at a keyboard creating stories for a living, it was a welcomed distraction from my regular life, and offered hope for the perpetual hole I felt in my heart about longing to be with a woman who wanted to be with me (the reason I didn't just hire a call girl).

Soon we exchanged photos. I knew she was in college (the thesis tipped me off), so when she saw the real 50-something me, I figured it'd be over. It wasn't.

She wrote, "I really feel obliged to say that if you are really trying to get me to meet then you will not succeed. I just don't want you to waste your time. I really do believe it is wrong to be with someone who is married or in a relationship, and I am very conscientious about that.

"But I do really like your photos though. You look smart and handsome in the best way possible. You are ...