Loathe to Love Ch. 05 - Sex Stories

Loathe to Love Ch. 05

... way I'd treated Thea, she didn't owe me anything. It was yet another reminder of my long list of misdeeds. "But I still shouldn't be doing them."

She cocked her head to the side, then tentatively nodded. "I suppose so."

We finished the rest of our meal in silence. Thea then took our plates and stood, her knees popping as she rose from the floor. "I appreciate the apology, princess."

I blinked and stood up after her. "Oh. Um. Thank you."

Thea nodded and left me alone with my thoughts.

Our meal provided the boost of energy I needed to stop wallowing in the parlor. Instead, I got up and wandered around the estate grounds for a bit, taking in lots of sunlight and little of the scenery. For while my body had successfully moved, my attention was very much still trapped inside my head while I waited for Natalia to return.

Not knowing what was in store allowed my imagination to run wild with lurid images of what our relationship might become or disintegrate into. I'd be carefully kept away from the public to avoid any further embarrassments. I'd start glancing over my shoulder again as I walked through the manor, never quite able to escape her suspicious eye and harsh corrections. I'd have to live knowing I'd squandered my chance at a caring lover.

As I pictured each scenario in my mind, my stoic resignation began to waver.

And as I saw Natalia's carriage appear far down the road, terror made my chest clench so hard I thought it would collapse in on ...

... itself.

'Run,' screamed the destructive girl inside my head. 'Get away so you can strike first.'

I obeyed her on instinct, sprinting inside the manor. Forget waiting around for my fate--I would go down fighting. I was only as defenseless as I allowed myself to be, after all. I'd go to the kitchens and start a fire, burn everything to the ground before it could be taken away from me.

Except that was a terrible idea, and I knew it.

The sound of rattling carriage wheels approached. I froze in the middle of the entrance hall.

Lashing out at one of the few people who'd shown me kindness wouldn't solve my problem, and doing it in such a drastic way would be remarkably selfish and stupid. Natalia hadn't even turned cruel yet. There was still time for me to throw myself at her feet and beg for mercy. Kneel as I had knelt before and hope by some miracle it would work again.

Except that was a terrible idea, and I knew it.

When I'd knelt before, there had been no expectations established between us. I'd simply been her wife apologizing for a relatively minor outburst. Now, though, I was beholden to Natalia and had violated the nature of her authority over me. The stakes were far higher; much more was required of her to restore order and balance. I would be pushed back down into my place via force. That was just how power worked. Kneeling made me too vulnerable to that inevitable outcome. I couldn't just let her hurt me.

Natalia exited the carriage and approached the manor. ...