Loathe to Love Ch. 05 - Sex Stories

Loathe to Love Ch. 05

... lady-in-waiting stood patiently by the door, having just helped me into a mauve dress, petticoats, and a subtle corset.

"Tea." I rubbed my bleary eyes. I'd spent the previous night alone--Natalia was off 'inspecting the logistics' of something or other. I felt somewhat relieved that she was absent and guilty about my relief.

"Yes, princess." Thea disappeared.

I wandered over to the parlor, still too drowsy for particularly coherent thought. I didn't need it yet anyway. Birds sang outside, swaying on tree branches caught in the gentle morning breeze. There was an ache behind my eyes and a sour taste in my mouth. I wondered when Natalia would be back. She'd said today but hadn't been any more specific. I wondered if she'd still want me to tell her my plans for the day when she returned. I wondered if she'd be upset with me when I said I didn't have any. I wondered--

"Oh!"

Entering the room, Thea tripped over the doorway. The teacup and saucer in her hand went flying, spewing drops of hot liquid before shattering against the floor in a great crash.

Shock and terror gripped me for only an instant. It was still enough to ignite my days of discontent into a great inferno of rage.

"Youidiot!" I shrieked, clenching my fists hard enough for my arms to tremble.

"Sorry, my princess," Thea murmured. She kept her eyes low as she quickly gathered the shards of ceramic.

"Things like this cannot happen." I glared down at her. "I'm--we're--held to a higher ...

... standard than that. Do you understand?"

Thea nodded. "Yes, princess." She turned to leave.

I wouldn't let her yet. "Thenwhy did you do it?"

The servant paused, clearly not expecting the question. "It was a mistake, princess."

I scoffed. "I'm aware of that. Tell me: Do you thinkI'm allowed to make mistakes, Thea?"

"I..." Thea inched backward toward the door, seemingly at a loss for words. Palpable discomfort was written across her face.

I was making her feel that way.

I was playing the role of the harsh disciplinarian myself, exercising my power to harm another. The realization snuffed out my anger so only guilt remained.

How quickly and naturally the role had come to me.

Iknew how much screamed insults and harsh corrections could hurt, and yet I'd reached for them immediately at the slightest inconvenience. Any decent person would have used their pain to learn compassion and empathy. I'd studied mine to learn how best to twist the knife.

Seeing that in real time made me sick to my stomach.

"Never mind," I sighed, rubbing my temples. "I'm sorry I yelled, Thea. You didn't do anything wrong." The words were unpleasant to hear out loud, but not saying them would be far worse. "And you're not an idiot. I just...I'm sorry. There's no excuse for that."

Thea stared at me with wide, baffled eyes.

"You can go if you like. I'll clean the spill."

The lady-in-waiting did not need to be told twice. She fled with a tiny curtsy and a "yes, princess."

I ...