Star Wars Cantina Whores - Sex Stories

Star Wars Cantina Whores

Han Solo eased the Millenium Falcon out of lightspeed near the desert planet of Tatooine, with Chewbacca sitting right next to him in the cockpit. His wookie co-pilot initiated the atmospheric penetration sequence.

"Grrrrowr," Chewie muttered.

"Yeah, I can't wait to get to the cantina either. They got the best cocktails in the Outer Rim . . . and the best hookers, too."

"Ggggwarrrhhwwww."

"I know you're lonely too, ya big galoof. We'll fly over to Kashyyyk tomorrow, and get you a nice hot Wookie whore to go medieval on."

Chewie laughed in his weird dog/lion/dinosaur-esque way. The Falcon landed on a concrete pad on the outskirts of the Mos Eisley spaceport, on the edge of a vast desert full of savage Sand People. (Political correctness was far, far away from that galaxy.) The twin suns of Tatooine blazed down on the interstellar duo as they exited the Falcon. They were soon approached by two Imperial stormtroopers in white body armor.

"Ah,you again," one of them muttered through a voice distorter that masked his identity. Just like his head honcho, Darth Vader. "You better not start any trouble this time, Solo."

"No trouble at all, officer. This place is a wretched hive of scum and villainy . . . but I'm supporting the legitimate economy."

"Yeah, whatever. Move along, move along."

"Heil Vader!" Han replied sarcastically. He took Chewie down the sandy main street of Mos Eisley, full of sleazy humans, aliens, and droids with artificial ...

... "intelligence." They entered Chalmun's Cantina, a squat mushroom-shaped building filled with outlaw Outer Rim mavericks. A cricket-like Arcona with creepy orange eyes looked up at them suspiciously through a haze of glitterstim smoke, playing a game of sabacc with an even creepier praying mantis-like Yam'rii.

Han ordered a Tatooine Sunset cocktail from a human bartender named Wuher, and Chewie ordered a Hutt's Delight, both heavy on the alcohol. They sat down at a booth near a bandstand. A sexy green-skinned female Twi'lek danced in front of Figrin D'an and the Modal Nodes. That space jazz quartet of gray-skinned Biths played a very familiar tune.

"Damn, those bug-eyed beatniks play the same fucking songs every time I come here," Han groaned. "Don't they know anything besides 'Mad About Me,' 'Dune Sea Special,' and 'The Sequential Passage of Chronological Intervals'?"

"Aaararrrgwwwh," Chewie muttered.

"You're right, buddy. After a few Hutt's Delights, nobody gives a shit. Not even Jabba himself."

They hung around the cantina for an hour, getting buzzed on fruity booze and winning a hundred more credit chips at sabacc from a dim-witted Mon Calamari.

"Three of a kindand The Idiot!" Han beamed, showing his hand of cards.

"Some idiots have all the luck," muttered Tanko Crumbar, giving him ten more chips. "Anyway, the whores should be coming in soon. There's a great new redhead with amazing tits, and her ass is better than you can possibly imagine."

"I canimagine quite a ...