Adventures in Modern Dating
Date: 11/9/2023,
Categories:
Incest/Taboo,
Author: byFatdog25, Source: Literotica
Squick alert: Contains incest.
April Fools 2024 contest entry. Please don't forget to check out the other entries!
The inspiration for this story comes fromBamagan'sIncest Quest. Their 12-part story is heavy on fetishes but the underlying app was the spark for this story. A very special thank you is in order.
Every person engaging in sexual activities in this story is over the age of 18. This is a work of erotic fiction. Any resemblance between the characters or events and any actual persons, living or dead, or events is unintentional and coincidental.
Let's swipe right, shall we?
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It seemed innocent enough.
An email in my inbox, announcing a new dating app being tested in our area. I marked it as spam and deleted it. Anything that promised results without relying on pictures and profiles sounded too good to be true. You know the old saying, anything that sounds too good to be true usually is.
The same email came the next day, with the same result. And the next day. And the next day. I opened the fifth one and looked for the little unsubscribe link. I unsubscribed with a note to stop sending me these emails typed into the box provided. I hadn't signed up for anything like this but maybe my sister April did it as a joke. It wouldn't be the first time one of us had done something like that for April Fool's or a birthday.
On the sixth day, a different email. Same app, same promises, different presentation. I unsubscribed and reported it as ...
... spam.
It became a routine. Wake up, check my email, unsubscribe, report, delete. Somewhere around day 18, a new email showed up in my inbox. The subject read "What Have You Got To Lose?"
I opened it, I don't know why. Idle curiosity, I guess.
There was no fancy ad, no hype, no fantastical pitch. Just a detailed list of all the rejections I had received on my other dating apps, including dates. At the bottom was a table of stats. The most telling stat was the average time on profile. It was 23 seconds. That's how long the average woman looked at my profile before moving on.
23 fucking seconds. I timed it and it was depressing.
Their interpretation of the data showed that, even though women thought I was around a 7 on a scale of 1 to 10 in attractiveness, my profile personality rated a 3. The summary concluded I was too introverted to succeed at online dating, the women I found attractive according to their profiles were more extroverted, and that extroversion was what they were looking for in a partner. I was also apparently trying to punch above my weight in the looks department, too. Oof.
Hey, a man's gotta dream, right?
The last line of the email was in large print and again asked the question, "What have you got to lose?"
That was a pretty good question at that point. I quickly decided that I could lose the dating apps, since I obviously wasn't getting anywhere and now I had an informed idea as to why. I deleted my profiles and then deleted the apps ...