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Rodeo Girl
Date: 9/30/2023, Categories: Transgender & Crossdressers, Author: byCristal_di_Canta
... just then, but I knew from personal experience that what we had was so special it had to be cherished for exactly what it was and any attempt to make it into something else might well destroy it. I went to the ladies for the second time but with a spring in my step. When I returned I had put the earrings in. I loved them and I loved Ronnie! ~~~***~~~ 17 One Funeral and a Wedding Mom, Maureen and I had finally agreed that we should expand the business as it would be good for the community and would allow us more time to enjoy ourselves. We had even informed the staff that we were looking to expand without giving too much away and they were all excited too. Just as I felt it couldn't get any better, a bombshell landed right in the middle of our celebrations and I found myself sobbing at my first funeral. My real dad had finally died of alcoholic poisoning and probably an overdose and Mom, Maureen, Karen and I flew over to New York where he had been living for some time, to arrange the short humanitarian service and sort out his things. There was no will, and nothing of value. It was actually like a reverse will as he owed quite a bit of money and we were now liable to pay off his debt. Even his battered old car cost more to get towed away than it was worth. No words can describe how difficult this was. He had no friends, or at least none that cared about him, and one thing was eating me up inside. He had never known Cristina, and here I was. A perfect stranger ...
... to my own deceased father. By the mirror in his squalid bedsit hung a picture of me when I was eight or nine balanced on his shoulders. A happy smiling boy with a happy smiling father. It was the only thing on the wall and told me how important I was to him and I was plagued by flashbacks of those happy days. My eyes flicked between my reflection in the mirror and the picture. I was completely paralysed by my emotions, hardly able to breathe and unable to cry, let alone think. Blood really is thicker than water and I had so many regrets that I had not tried harder to help him, or worse, to even see him. I could feel his presence looking at me from wherever he was, questioning who he was seeing, puzzled and unsure. It felt like I needed to explain myself and I was torn between whether he would have accepted or rejected me as a daughter. Would he have seen my change as another of his personal failures, his failure as a role model, or would he have been proud of who I had become? Sadly I was sure it was the former. That was in his nature. When someone close to you dies there are always so many things you regret not having said or not having done. Often these things are trivial, but mine was hardly that. I just could not get it out of my mind that he had died not knowing and would never know, that I could never share my happiness with him and have the joy of getting him to love the new me. I was convinced that he would have accepted and loved me with time. There was ...