She is the one - Chapter 19 from jashley13 - Sex Stories

She is the one - Chapter 19 from jashley13

... dark cloud that had been slowly receding returned, darker than ever. The worst…break-up. Yeah. That’s the worst that could happen. And I know I was supposed to be optimistic, love conquers all, that sort of thing. But…what if? Those two little words I hated so much refused to leave my mind. What if? What if she decided to break up with me? What if my apology just wasn’t enough? What if my ego was desperately trying to protect itself so I thought kissing Tara was less of a big deal than it was? What if…what if…what if… I set my computer down and lay on my bed, staring up at the ceiling. I tried imagining life without Kayla in it and I kept drawing a blank. I couldn’t imagine it. This wasn’t a learn-from sort of high school relationship. I knew I loved her. Yes, I was young. Yes, I was still a naïve teenager, but I still knew. And I was going to fight to keep it. Not just for me but for her as well. I knew I made her as happy as she made me and I didn’t want her to lose that. Was that selfish? Maybe. I was depressed. A wave of exhaustion hit me and I decided, since there was nothing else I could do to speed up the time outside of science fiction, I might as well go to bed. And I’d set an alarm. Last time I woke up without an alarm blaring in my ear…it led to all of this happy horseshit. As an extra precaution, I locked my door. Not to be a dick but because the last thing I needed was one more kick to the nads on top of everything else. I thought back to last night, trying to ...

... remember when Tara came in and asked to sleep in bed with me. I could sort of remember it…vaguely. The way you remember a dream. Bits and pieces. God, what was I thinking? I should have offered her my bed and slept on the floor or something. No, I think she wanted me in bed with her. For comfort or something. Like I said, bits and pieces. I lay under the covers, ready to go to sleep, knowing something was missing. Every night since I first met her, we had texted ‘goodnight’ to each other. We added many other things on top of it but that ‘goodnight’ had been consistent. Unwavering. Something I didn’t even realize that I’d come to rely on until now. It was something so small and insignificant yet, somehow, it made all the difference. I stared at my phone, hoping she would text me, even just to say ‘goodnight’. It had to have the same effect on her as it did on me, right? Subconsciously. I waited and waited, my vision blurring and my eyelids dropping as I watched the black screen, waiting for it to light up with a message. I don’t know how long I waited. Nothing. No message at all. Be patient, Jack. Be patient. My hand started to creep towards the phone. I know she said not to message her but what if I just said ‘goodnight’? That’s innocuous. It’s not like I’m giving her explanations or excuses or anything. I’m just wishing her goodnight in a calm, harmless fashion. She couldn’t object to that, could she? She said not to. No texting. How was it going to look if I ignored her ...