1. King Arthur in the Adventures of Cameltoe (Part 1)


    Date: 7/9/2016, Categories: Humor, Author: MaxwellSpanx2015

    ... stopped and stared at me. She seemed in a panic while her pale skin was gleamed with sweat. I recognised her as one of the girls from the whorehouse, Edith I seemed to recall. Her overgrown bush would never be expectable in the gay community. The girl then continued running across the road and back into the trees. I kicked my horse to continue but stopped again as Merlin ran out holding a rabbit by its ears. “Merlin?” “Oh, hello... Have you seen a naked woman around here?” “I thought you were collecting herbs..? Not rabbits.” “I was... but felt the urge to go rabbitting... Hey, stop looking at my cock.” He was pretty well hung... but it looked rather diseased. “Your woman ran towards town.” “Right... I’ll be on by way then.” “Hey, I wanted a word, actually.” “Come on lance... I need to make sure I catch her to get my monies worth.” “Guinevere.” “What about the randy bitch.” I watched the rabbit kicking with its hind legs. Its fur was matted with some kind of grease. “Guin is acting all strange around me. You know why?” “Err, no... come on Lance, hurry up. There’s a cold breeze here, my dick shrivelling up like dried fruit.” My suspicion grew while I watched Merlin fidget. He was acting like a guilty man facing the chop.“You know something about Guinevere, what is it? Guinevere... you like her don’t you?” “Who doesn’t?” “You would break her doors down, wouldn’t you. What happened last night?” “Alright, alright.” Merlin gave his cock a little rub before pushing it down with ...
    ... his hand. “Last night, on the stairs, I caught her wanking.” “Really?” “God’s honest truth. She was rubbing so hard that her hand became a blur.” “What a strange woman. Not really stately behaviour.” “Strange... I’d love a girl like that... turned me on like a light bulb.” I had no idea what the mad magician was on about. “What’s a light bulb?” “Forget it, they’ll be around long after you’re ten feet under. Can I go now?” “No, tell me more. What happened after that?” “N.. nothing.” I snapped. “Merlin!” “Alright, I watched in the shadows while I rattled one out. Before quietly leaving.” “Right... Here was me thinking that it was the God damn pigeons making all that mess on the stairs.” I took my horse’s reins in hand. “Right, now you can fuck off.” As Merlin ran off searching for his whore, I suddenly realised his events didn’t quite tally with those of Guinevere... Shit, I wonder where’s all this leading too? Merlin must have sticky wand involved somehow. That evening I found myself back in Cameltoe, where I found a worried Arthur pacing the dusty courtyard alone. “You have to get rid of Merlin... he’s a liability.” “As if I haven’t got enough on my plate.” “I mean it.” “Merlin is like the furniture, he’s always been around. Plus, who can I replace him with? A good magician is hard to come by.” “Gandalf is supposed to be available at the right price.” “I had a word with Gandalf, but he wanted to bring a load of hobbits with him as part of the deal... I hate hobbits.” “Tell me ...