King Arthur in the Adventures of Cameltoe (Part 1) - Sex Stories

King Arthur in the Adventures of Cameltoe (Part 1)

... forgive me in less time than it would for me to call you a pathetic old fool.” “You wouldn’t betray me, would you?” My heart began to bleed while I watched Guinevere’s face crumble. “Guin?” “I...” “Who?” “You don’t know him...” “I demand you tell me.” Guinevere pointed towards the door. “Him.” I turned around. “Who?” “The guard.” I stood from the bed and drew my trusty sword, Excalibur. “Guard!” The door opened and in ran the guard. I thrust my sword into his chest, then kicked him off my bloodied blade. I glanced at my wife. “Tell me, was it him who bummed you?” “Yes.” I glared at the dying guard. “You cheeky bastard.” Luckily I was wearing my armoured boots, so I began kicking him, taking years and years frustration out on the hapless dying man. I wiped the sweat from my forehead, and felt my belly rumble. “Right... now that’s sorted, let’s go and see what’s for dinner.” “Violence always makes me hungry.” “And you say I know nothing.” Guinevere stepped over dead guard. She flashed the smile she knew I loved. Then put her arm around my waist. “I fancy roast duck... You?” “I’m feeling a little heavy, might go for a salad.” I was walking the gardens to digest my food. It also gave me a chance to clear my mind off the day’s events. But my thinking time was interrupted by my useless Cheif Druid, Merlin. “Hey, I got a bone to pick with you, Fuck Face.” “I told you that feeding the horse distracts it while your mounting it from behind... if you got kicked it’s your fault.” “Yeah, ...

... about that. I’ve been rubbing cum on my face and fucking tired horses for the past month. Stop it with the practical jokes... they’re shit.” “I think they’re quite funny.” “They’re not.” My pointed finger brushed his bony nose. “I’ve been walking around with a knob that smells like a fish monger’s apron and a face that smells like a teenager’s bedroom.” “I don’t know what your problem is. My cock smells a lot worse after what I got up last night.” Merlin scratched his nuts. “How is Guin after her bumming?” “H... How do you know?” “I’m.” Merlin ran his fingers through his whispery beard. “I’m... omnipresent.” “Look, I don’t even know what that means, but if you’ve been hiding under my bed again, then you obviously knew it wasn’t me.” “I...” “Merlin, I’ve given you more chances that a special needs kid. You have to start giving me something back.” “One day jokes like that will be frowned upon.” I thought he had a cheek. “What? And telling your best mate to wipe cum on his face isn’t?” “That joke, Sir, is timeless.” My fist clenched and my arm curled to throw a punch. “Why didn’t you tell me about the guard?” “Oh... the guard. Right... It was dark, and I was too busy rubbing away in the shadows to notice it wasn’t you.” “You’re a dirty bastard.” “Look on the bright side, you now have a free pass?” I folded my arms.“For what?” “To go out and get revenge.” “I can’t sorry, I love Guin.” “You’re foolish.” I rubbed the back of my neck. “I’m not... I just have my nuts in a vice.” “You ...