Finding It - Sex Stories

Finding It

... Nodding, he gives me a hard kiss on my forehead before letting me go and steps back. “Okay. Let me take you home,” he murmurs. *************** It is one in the morning and I am lying on my bed in shorts and a vest, still milling over Mark’s words in my head. We didn’t say anything in the taxi and he didn’t try to strike up a conversation. As I say goodbye to him and go into my house, I feel my soul breaking with my heart, with the knowledge that I have turned him away. I can’t believe he said he still loves me - how is that possible? As much as I want a future with him, I have to disregard my feelings to save myself the heartbreak of a ill-fated, long-distance relationship. A gentle knock on my door disrupts my thoughts. “Beth?” It is my mom but I stay still. I don’t want her to see my tear-blotched face. “Are you okay? You haven't said anything since you got back,” she gently asks, coming into my room and sitting on the edge of the bed. I turn around to immediately help her, but she manages to get in without stumbling. “I’m sorry I didn’t check in on you-“ I start but she stops me, instantly seeing my face. “Honey, have you been crying? What happened?" Unable to keep my tears, I find myself laying my head on her lap and sobbing as I recount the whole evening. How Mark and I met up and what he said. All the while, she remains quiet, stroking my hair slightly as I cry. After a while, she strokes my cheek to wipe the tears away. “Sweetie, why did you say you couldn’t be with ...

... him?" “I…I thought it was best,” I whisper. “You are the most honest person I know, but not speaking your heart - that’s not like you,” she says, sweeping my hair behind my ear. “I can’t be with him, Mom,” I start, sitting up to defiantly wipe away the tears that won’t stop falling. “You need me and I can’t be with him while he’s in another country, hanging out with people who are better than I am." “Now you stop right there,” my mom says in a such a firm voice, it startles me. “You have always put yourself down and prioritised other people all your life, and it pisses me off." “Mom!" “I know you love him, you wouldn’t be crying so badly otherwise." “But-" “You have one life, Bethany, you need to live it,” she urges me, and seeing as she calls me by my first full name, she is serious. “But…what do I do? I’ve screwed this up,” I say sadly, looking down. “Then go over there and sort it out. Talk, fight or…do whatever you need to do. Be happy, sweetheart - that’s all I ever want for you,” she smiles. Looking at her serious expression, I realise what she is saying. Looking back at my life, I have never experienced real happiness until Mark. Taking a deep breath, I immediately put on my trainers and my zipped hooded sweatshirt. “Okay. Call me if you need me,” I quickly say, kissing my mom’s cheek before dashing downstairs. “We won’t, don’t worry!” she jokingly shouts. ************** Racing my bike to Mark’s apartment block, I am wheezing by the time I get to his place. Locking it at ...