The Right Programming Language - Sex Stories

The Right Programming Language

... park. I sit down, and he says, "So, you had a dream? About–"

I cut him off. "It was a sex dream, Mark. I had a sex dream about you."

His mouth works and then he breathes out, "Oh thank god. I mean, I'm assuming, it was… it was pleasant?"

I respond, bemused. "Yes, Mark, it was pleasant. It was so 'pleasant'"–I use air quotes–"that I grabbed my vibrator and came, thinking about how pleasant it was."

He gapes for a moment.

"That's the fucking sexiest thing I've ever heard," he says in a rush.

I break into a smile at that. "Really?"

He nods. "My god Jane, do you know how long I've wanted to be pleasant to you, so deep and so hard neither of us can remember our own names?"

My mouth drops open. "Are we talking about?"

"Fucking, Jane. I want to fuck you into next week. I want to grab that cute ass and slam you down onto my cock,"–I inhale sharply–"watch those amazing tits bounce on my chest while you tell me just how bad my functions are, how mangled and messy my service is and how much you want to rename all of my variables."

I can feel how hot my cheeks are at this point. "That's–specific."

"God, I'm sorry, but if you give me even an inch, I can't help but tell you exactly how much and how badly I want you."

I'm amazed. "Mark, I had no idea. How long…?"

"Oh, probably since the first time you came to my desk to ask me about my pull request."

"Mark, I've done that dozens of times–"

"You had pigtails and your shirt said ‘Hot Coder ...

... Alert’."

"Oh my god, that's my laundry day shirt! What?" I exclaim.

"I remember it had inched up your back so that when you turned and left, I could see your skin there, and I just wanted to jump up after you and ask you to come back and find more bugs in my code, so that maybe I could somehow get my hand on that sliver of glorious skin…"

"I–Mark, that must have been over a year ago."

"Yeah, I know. Believe me, I know."

"I had no idea."

"Well, we did go through that harassment training, and I didn't want to be that dick, but if you are saying maybe you have some feelings in return…"

"I don’t know, Mark. I thought I hated you–"

"Ouch"

"–but I think I just wanted your good opinion, and seeing you be nice to everyone else…"

"Jane, I always thought you were amazing. I didn't think you needed anyone to tell you that, and I had to watch every word I said. I thought…anything I said to you would immediately come out as…harassment, that anyone could tell I was, well, hitting on you. I didn't know how to give you a compliment without being obvious how much…. I'm sorry. I can see that it, it must have hurt that I didn't try to butter you up the way I do with most people."

"Yeah. I, I appreciate that. I wouldn't have minded some buttering."

"God and you're so funny too. I love that about you. I lie awake sometimes, thinking about your mouth and the funny things that come out of it, the smart things, the little smiles…I…I'm so sorry, I know for sure I'm coming ...