Loathe to Love Ch. 05 - Sex Stories

Loathe to Love Ch. 05

... sunbeam stretched across our torsos. I hummed in approval and squeezed her closer.

There was something about her presence that permitted me to shut off my fretful mind, some air of safety that allowed me to sink into--

"Alright." Natalia gently pushed me off her lap and stood. "I'm off to work. Be good!"

"What?" I blinked in surprise. "No!"

"Hush, kitten. I've duties to attend to. I'll see you in the evening, alright?" She leaned over and kissed me on the forehead.

And then she was gone.

The space where she'd sat a moment before felt like a massive empty void.

She hadn't done anything wrong--of course she was busy. I knew that. Her routine was the same as usual. Just because we'd agreed to new terms in our relationship, that didn't mean the rest of our lives would be rearranged in an instant. Iknew that.

So then why was there an icy ball of anxiety in my chest after her departure?

I curled up in the chair, a chill coming over me as the morning sun and my peaceful haze passed on in unison. No longer buoyed by Natalia's affection, the gravity of the morning pressed down on me harder than ever. What were we doing, exactly? What did it mean to belong to Natalia if the two of us were still spending most of our time on business as usual? How was I supposed to prove I was good when she wasn't around to see it?

My expectations and desires felt like a tangled mess. An hour ago, I'd been scared of giving away too much control. And yet here I was now, ...

... fretting over how little Natalia had taken. It was nothing short of ridiculous. There had to be something I was doing wrong, some feeling I was supposed to be having were it not for my ignorance.

Whatever that feeling may have been, it did not come. I sat listlessly in the parlor for another half hour or so before going about the rest of my day, a cloud hanging over my head. My emotions felt sluggish and slow to react. Even the simple pleasures of a light lunch or afternoon gardening strained to hold my attention. And when a particularly uncooperative blackberry bush pricked my finger, I lost interest in the day altogether and resigned myself to moping in my room.

Natalia found me there in the early evening, lying on my side in bed staring out of the window.

"Everything alright?"

"Sure," I scooted over to give her room to sit. "Yes, ma'am."

"Okay." The mattress beneath me bounced and heaved as Natalia sat down hard, the ranger letting out a tired sigh. I watched as she removed her boots and let them drop to the floor with a pair of heavy thuds.

She reached over and gently stroked my hair. "Tough day?"

I shrugged. "I...it's been a lot, ma'am."

She nodded. "It has."

Still lying on my side, I wrapped my body around the back of her seated form and put my head on her thigh. She grabbed and held the back of my neck with just a hint of pressure--gentle but firm. It felt like a practiced gesture.

My thoughts returned to Natalia's pre-existing ideas and ...