February Sucks for Walter Mitty - Sex Stories

February Sucks for Walter Mitty

... her and spread her legs for the winner. Nothing could be more basic. More boringly traditional." I sneered at her. "Here's a clue, Linda: Feeding an itchy pussy at the expense of your committed relationship doesn't make you a radical rebel. It doesn't make you Che Guevara. It doesn't even make you Gloria Steinem. It makes you a shitty wife, a shitty mother, a shitty human being, and a SHITTY FUCKING FEMINIST!"

To be honest, it went downhill from there.

Epilogue

A couple of days later, I moved home--into the guest room, of course. While I would have preferred to avoid Linda completely, her work still required her to come in from nine to five, and she was leaning hard on Mrs. Porter--who was still pissed at her--to handle the kids in the mornings and afternoons. Emma and Tommy were suffering, and it was time for me to step up.

Once I was back home, I quickly resumed my old routine of juggling work and childcare. As for Linda and I, we managed to avoid fighting in front of the kids--mostly by completely avoiding each other.

I consider that a win.

Meanwhile, my various legal proceedings continued their slow march forward. It turned out that I had, indeed, left some DNA on LaValliere's ring. That, combined with the security cam footage from Morrison's parking lot and back hallway, firmly established that LaValliere, Moizoos and Smith had cleaned my clock. They lawyered up and managed to plead down to misdemeanor third degree assault, which carried a small fine. ...

... On the bright side, they also had to pay my hospital bill. And, by the time the next season rolled around, LaValliere had been traded.

I hear Detroit's even colder than Buffalo.

The assault conviction came in handy when ten of LaValliere's victims--including me--filed a class action lawsuit for intentional infliction of emotional distress. Moizoos had dutifully recorded LaValliere's nights at Morrison's, and his videos--complete with commentary--ended up getting played in court. The plaintiffs all walked away with seven figure settlements. In my case, it was the low seven figures after Bailey took his cut. He also took a chunk of the six figure settlement we got from Morrison's for their complicity that night. Needless to say, the video of the bouncer's little love tap came in handy.

I'm still trying to figure out where Bailey falls on the lawyer/friend spectrum.

Linda hired a lawyer, who--I assume--took one look at the whole mess and advised her to sign the papers. She eventually gave in, and we set about the process of learning to co-parent. Our conversation at my parents' house made it clear that we were both carrying a lot of baggage, and it was affecting how we acted around the children, so we started seeing a counselor to help us build a less toxic relationship. It took a lot of time and a lot of screaming, but we've found a way to relate to each other with civility, if not warmth. We put the kids in therapy, too, but children Emma and Tommy's age tend to be ...