Love is a Place Ch. 02: The Solution - Sex Stories

Love is a Place Ch. 02: The Solution

... get to say that about her. I know she's different, but you don't get to decide for her what she feels. She's a person, she's an adult: she can decide for herself what she feels." His voice softens. "I've spoken to her quite a bit these last few days. She's told me what she feels for you and how you make her feel. If that's not love, then I don't know what love is Sarah."

"Really?"

"Yes!"

"But...but..." shame and hope are scratching and clawing at each other in my stomach, "she can't... she can't touch people Stuart! You know what she's like. You remember her at school."

"Yes... and she's nothing like that now!" He pauses and sighs. "Maybe you're too close, Sarah, you can't see. But I remember when I came back from Reading for the Christmas holidays that first year you were in 6th form and noticed how much she'd changed. Then even more by the summer - she actually gave me a hug, unprompted! And now. You see her every day, maybe you haven't noticed. But she's blossoming. She'll always be a wallflower, for sure, but... she's doing well, you know. Come on, you must see that?"

He's right. Fuck, he's right. She's no longer the scared child that cowered in the corner, hands over her ears, flinching every time another student would brush past her or bump into her. Yes, she has changed. She can cope. Most of the time.

I can feel hope spreading through me, like strong roots, knotting around my joints. So, of course, my shame goes nuclear.

"But... I don't deserve ...

... her..."

"What? That's bullshit Sarah! Nobody could ask for a more loyal, more patient, more caring friend than you..."

I cut him off. "You know what I did, Stuart! You were there! How can I be with her!? She doesn't deserve to be with somebody that could do that to her! I don't deserve her!"

"What the hell are you... Wait? Are you talking about what happened in Primary? What... you were in Year 3?"

"Yes," I sob.

"What the fuck, Sarah? You were 7!"

"It was a big deal, Stuart! I had to move schools!"

"Are you... are you still beating yourself up about that? It was years ago! A lifetime ago! You're both completely different people. And whatever..." he pauses as he searches for the word, "penance you owed her for that you have more than repaid over the years. She doesn't even fucking remember it."

"But... you do..."

"And? So fucking what? Do you... do you need my fucking permission to date my sister or something?" he hisses. Then, seeing my face, and glancing quickly at the door, he softens. "Look, wow, I didn't realise you were still feeling guilty about this. Maybe you should talk to somebody? Dr Alison?"

"She knows."

"Yeah, I know." He seems momentarily embarrassed. "I told her."

"I know."

"Yeah. Look, for what it's worth, I forgave you for that a long time ago. I mean, I was angry when I realised who you were. But when I saw how hard you were working to help Samantha, to protect her, I stopped being cross with you and ... well... yeah, I ...