Steak & BJ After Decades Of Neglect - Sex Stories

Steak & BJ After Decades Of Neglect

... then closed again).

"But today is March 14!"

"That's right, dear: the National Steak and BJ Day."

"What?"

"Oh, dear, don't pretend to be so Vanilla with me, I'm still your Auntie Violet, I know you well, I know all about your erotic exploits with your boyfriend! To counterbalance Valentine's Day (which often boils down to being just a collection of gifts and attention to women), MEN invented this holiday, and since you know my husband loves all holidays, then I decided that from this year forward we will have a new couple tradition: to celebrate this particular date with him, in the way he likes it best.

It's an effort for me, because you know I hate all holidays including birthdays - except yours, dear - and I hate calendars and anniversaries, like a Grinch, but my husband likes all holidays, as you may have noticed for winter decorations" (sitting on the couch, I hoped my wife wouldn't start one of those boring speeches against the calendar, an invention of the Patriarchy to impose mathematical control over human affairs, while the menstrual cycle corresponds with the phases of the Moon and so on, because Violet could go on for hours. But perhaps, naked in front of the cold rain, my wife would have been shorter than usual. Or maybe, even Trudy didn't feel like being bored once again by her aunt's feminist oratory).

"I know he's manic about Halloween and St. Patrick's Day and all the other holidays... but what's the celebration in this one?" (Trudy's voice ...

... was still outside the main door: cold air was coming in. I imagined my wife's nipples erect like two pencils. Why was Violet exposing herself almost naked to all that cold? Just to turn me on. That was the only plausible answer).

"Let's say that Valentine's Day, in its most classic form, involves elegance and sophistication: fancy food suited to elegant female tastes (from a box of chocolates to an entire dinner at a fancy restaurant), cultural occasions to attend in formal dress, and several gifts (to females) and lots of chic conversation, but very little sex.

It is a party designed to satisfy female pretensions-you know, no, females from Venus, men from the planet Mars...

The funny and unique thing is that March 14 is always the same day of the week as compared to February 14: if it was a Saturday or a Tuesday, it repeats the next month identically. This makes it evenly balanced: if in February the couple dedicated a weekday Tuesday, they can (and should) do the same in March.

By contrast, March 14 is named "Steak & Blow-Job" to emphasize that what is at stake is male happiness: which, as everyone knows, settles for primal, instinctive pleasures: a steak, zero conversation, zero fine foods, zero romance, zero orgasms for the woman devoted to giving him a generous blowjob without receiving anything in return-just as my husband never received anything to reciprocate all the gifts he has given me over the years, as well as restaurants, theaters, lectures and other ...