What The Hell Ch. 01 - Sex Stories

What The Hell Ch. 01

... right behind him. I saw it in super slow motion, Mom collapsed, falling limp into John's arms.

The screams drowned out everything. Al reached her before I did, Roxie was whispering in his ear, the pews around her emptied, and there was a hush in the church. This is when everything truly went dark, well gray, but fuzzy.

Carl came to my side as did Lisa. I looked over at Roxie who was now bent over Mom. She looked up at me, then closed her eyes and lowered her head, shaking it gently. She turned to Al and whispered in his ear. Lisa hugged me tight.

Father Timothy stepped forward and prayed for her. As promised I didn't cry. I vaguely remember Carl's hand stroking my back. I could be wrong but Lisa and Roxie were showing the most support when I needed it.

Two hours later I was sitting in my parents' home. I just sat with Al and John, Erin was tending to her daughter and son.

"What the hell was I thinking about having this wedding?" I groaned, "Why the hell had I done this? Was I really that self-centered and selfish?" I stood pacing.

I screamed. "I killed my mother! This fucking wedding killed my mother!"

"Fuck me! I am the worst daughter ever!" I screamed.

I started crying and ran from the room, out the front door. I walked to the backyard to clear my head, I would never forgive myself. The stress of this wedding killed my mother. This wedding killed my mother.

No wait that was an incorrect statement.I killed my mother.

~~~

The next few days ...

... were a schedule of events that had been pre-planned. One thing Mom made certain of was that everything would be prepared in advance as to her wishes. That was Mom, everything done as she wanted, down to the last detail.

Damn accountants, so absolutely specific and detail oriented. She had everything planned including the hymns to be sung, the dress she was to wear, the rosary she would hold in her hands, and the prayers said at her grave.

A few days later, Erin recalled telling us of the chiming and echo of the church bells as they rang twelve noon, as we all kneeled or stood gathering around Mom watching her last breath.

A week later Al went back to work as scheduled. John, Erin, and their children went home to Hartford. Instead of being in Aruba, I met with my supervisor discussing my schedule. Mary Beth, my Nurse Manager, was at the wedding, she understood.

Carl's boss was at the wedding and witnessed everything up close. He sat just across the aisle in the front pew. Carl is an architect, he works for his father's and his Uncle's firm.

The following day, Roxie and I sat in the cafeteria at Massachusetts General Hospital. I toyed with my salad as I listened to her try to comfort me. I smiled and nodded when I heard her pause or when it seemed as if I was supposed to. Truth be told, I wasn't really listening.

I felt her hand touch mine. I lifted my head to look at her; she gave me one of those "I wish I could take the pain away" smiles. Then I felt a soft ...