1. A Friendly Jog


    Date: 10/6/2023, Categories: Cheating Author: ThePenisMightier 

    ... minutes later, I was hopping into my car, a cherry red 1963 Dodge Custom 880.

I should pause here to brag about my self-control. I really want to nerd out on you and spend a few thousand words discussing the 383 V8, 3-speed torque flight tranny, dual exhausts, and a nearly flawless black interior, but I’m not going to. None of that is really pertinent to this story. Just understand that my car and I have a thing going on, and if that’s weird to you, then it’s none of your business.

Anyway, after my wife went to work, I’d hop into my car and head to one of two places. Either I’d hit the gym, or I’d drive down to a park about a mile from our house that butted up to a paved trail that ran for several miles along the local creek system. It was one of my favorite spots to run. Thanks to my generally outgoing nature, I’d even made a few friends there over the years.

One particularly warm August morning, I found myself pulling into the parking lot at the city park. I noticed her almost immediately. She was prepping for a run under a big shade tree near the trail. Her cinnamon-colored hair was tied up in a ponytail, and she was wearing a neon pink sports bra and a matching pair of running shorts. Her emerald green eyes glistened as she turned her head to watch my car approach.

Pulling into a stall nearby, I exited the car and strolled toward the tree. I should point out that at this point, cheating on my wife was nowhere in my mind. Like I said, I’m an outgoing guy and I ...
    ... generally enjoyed making new friends on the trail. She didn’t look like a homicidal killer, so I figured it was worth making an introduction.

“Nice car,” she smiled as I approached.

“Thanks,” I replied, stopping a few feet from where she was stretching. “Mind if I borrow your tree?”

“It’s all yours,” she replied. “I’m just about done anyway.”

“Awesome,” I said, beginning my stretching routine. “How far are you running today?”

“I’m going for ten. I’m doing the Champion’s Marathon next month, and I’m trying to get ready for it.”

“Oh, cool,” I chimed. “I’ll be running that one, too. It’ll be my third full. What about you?”

“It’s actually my first. I’m a little freaked out about it, honestly.”

“Eh, don’t be,” I reassured her. “Look at it this way — if it’s your first, you’re guaranteed to set a personal record no matter what!”

She chuckled at my joke. “Good point,” she smiled. “Well, I’d better get out there before it gets too hot.”

“Yeah, I hear you there. Hey, quick question before you go.” I replied. “What kind of gel are you taking?”

She stopped and looked at me quizzically. “Gel? Not sure I’m following you.”

“You know, energy gel. Are you taking anything for your longer runs?”

“Honestly,” she confessed, “I’m pretty new to running, and I’ve never heard of that before.”“Oh lord,” I muttered, fishing my spare gel pouch out from my waistband. “Here, take this with you. When you get to about the halfway point today, eat it. You’ll feel a lot ...
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