One Thousand Apologies - Part 2 (censored) - Sex Stories

One Thousand Apologies - Part 2 (censored)

... remembered the original as being very funny, but the sequel opened with combat scenes in Vietnam. It was confusing at first, as we tried to figure out that it told four separate stories, at four different times, of characters from the original, and for the rest of the movie cut back and forth between them. So I was sitting there thinking “What the hell am I watching?” I always liked looking at Cindy Williams. For me, seeing her with Ron Howard, and set in the early 60’s, had made the first movie seem more like a continuation of Happy Days. At the beginning of their scene they are having a hell of a fight as she’s demanding to be allowed to get a job and send the kids to child care. Hannah leans in to whisper “You tell him, girl!” As Ron Howard kept demanding that his wife do exactly as he says, to stay at home and raise the children, I had to agree “Yeah, he really is being an asshole. I don’t think I could ever be like that.” Hannah squeezed my arm and replied, “No, you’re not that kind of guy.” Then as the kids ran around the house, totally of control, I told her “God, I hope my kids don’t turn out like that!” Later the hippy couple smoking weed in their car get pulled over by a motorcycle cop. “Han Solo!” I whispered to Hannah, as Harrison Ford reprised his character in the briefest of cameos. I certainly hoped that Lucas would do better with his next Star Wars than this crappy sequel, but that’s a whole ‘nother story. After bailing her boyfriend out of jail, Candy asks ...

... him “I love you, when are we going to get married?” and gets the stoner response “I don’t know man, it’s just a piece of paper!” That bothered me. I leaned over to Hannah and said, “It’s not just a piece of paper, it’s a commitment, to promise that you’ll always be there!” And sure enough, by the end of the movie, the dickhead is kissing some other girl. The fourth story was about the drag racer John Milner (wait, seriously, John Fuckin’ Milner? Two days in a row? Of all the characters, in all the movies…this has to be a sign from God!) So anyways, about halfway through the movie Milner meets this hot foreign chick Eva, who can’t speak a word of English, and convinces her to go to his trailer at the drag strip. He wants to make some moves but they can’t communicate verbally. Awkwardly Milner puts his arm around Eva’s shoulder, and I thought “This is my chance, I have to do something.” I stretched my left arm out behind Hannah’s back, taking her far shoulder in my hand. My heart rate shot up as she responded by leaning her head into my shoulder. Milner goes in for a kiss, followed by his right hand on Eva’s waist. When his hand gropes her breast, Eva jumps up and runs out of the trailer, leaving Milner whining “Please come back!” The story of my life, everything I was afraid of - except - I was sitting there watching that movie with my arm around a beautiful young lady. I turned my head left to look down at her face, only to find her staring back up at me. My God, she was so ...