Facebook Friend - Sex Stories

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... (especially not one of those that promised innumerable available men, but provided instead only those interested in the tiny minority of signed-up women who were under twenty-five). It was friendship that Facebook promised. Nothing more (although that had always seemed a possibility). Couldn’t Jane be satisfied with just that? But, at the moment, her aversion to Charlie’s regrettable disfigurement made even that rather unlikely. Charlie returned with a Grande Filter Coffee (Fairtrade, of course) for himself and a glass and a plastic bottle of White Cranberry juice for Jane. He sat down opposite Jane and gingerly sipped from his still-too-hot cup of coffee while regarding her with evident apprehension. How should their conversation proceed? After all their long Facebook chats would it make sense just to make the kind of embarrassing small talk that had blighted the few dates Jane had arranged online? But, thankfully, Charlie circumvented a bland conversation about the weather or the traffic or the quality of Starbucks’ coffee by launching into a subject of much more interest to Jane. “Did you see that idiot on The Apprentice last night? What do you think he was on?” “Which one?” asked Jane, who tried hard to address the unblemished half of Charlie’s face and ignore his small stature. “The Greek guy with the MBA or the woman with the prominent chest?” “Both, I suppose,” said Charlie. “But especially the Greek guy. What was he on? Did he have no idea what a pillock he was making ...

... of himself?” As they chatted with one another, Jane’s thoughts moved away from her original intention to make a polite farewell after just one drink with a vague excuse and an unfulfilled promise to stay in touch towards a more complete engagement with the lives of reality television personalities and minor celebrities whose lives she followed (despite herself) and about which she paid more attention in the newspapers and magazines than she ever did to economic statistics and politics. Charlie and she shared the same passion in following the lives of other people and the more ordinary and fallible the better. And if these were actors who’d appeared in Game of Thrones or Coronation Street then so much more satisfying: to know the personalities not only as they pretended to be but as they really were (even if so many soap stars were uncovered as paedophiles, adulterers and alcoholics). In fact, Jane’s conversation was going so well that she’d finished her White Cranberry juice and Charlie his Fairtrade coffee and continued nattering about the ins and outs of the minor celebrities on not just The Apprentice , but also The Voice , Poldark and even Wolf Hall . “I watched a couple of episodes but I couldn’t get into it,” confessed Charlie. “I couldn’t tell who were the good guys and who were the bad guys,” admitted Jane. “You just like your historical heroes to be handsome and brooding like Ross Poldark,” Charlie teased her. This was true but the comment served to remind Jane that ...