12-3 Croc ahead at 50 degrees starboard, Cap'n - Sex Stories

12-3 Croc ahead at 50 degrees starboard, Cap'n

... your leg off immediately, it clamps on, death rolls and takes you to the bottom, where you drown...slowly. Just sayin', is all.)

After about 5 mins of torture, Sven relented and climbed in. Just at that moment, its tail touched one of them, she screamed even louder, but still failed to realise it was fake.

Come here, Bruno, he said, as he held up the remote control and the predator returned to him.

Oh, sorry, Ally, Lyn. Are you both OK? Two of my friends PUSHED HIM IN WHEN HE WASN'T FUCKING EXPECTING IT!!!!!

The penny dropped with them. Hard!

By this time, I'd driven back, in time to see the aftermath. The girls were apoplectic with rage, but saw the funny side and also wanted to laugh to appreciate such a good practical joke.

Sven very kindly dived down to retrieve their glasses, and once they could see again, they were a lot calmer. They wanted to simultaneously smack him around the head and kiss him.

I saw a piece of turd floating in the water so I got the net to fish it out. Both girls denied it was them who had shit themselves in fright, and even though we demanded inspection of their arseholes, nothing could be proved as the water had washed away the evidence by now.

Ally let out one of her pearler wisecracks, better than Franny IMHO, by saying in a great Steve Irwin accent: Aww fuck, that croc was more scared of us, ya know? This here's fucking crocodile shit, can't you stupid bastards even recognise that?? G'day Bruce! Returning you back to ...

... the God-damn studio.

We were (literally) all four rolling on the floor (actually grass) laughing and snickering for a long while, when Margey came back from shopping, to find us like that.

Have you lot been at the funny fags again? she enquired.

That set us all off one more time. We had to take her indoors to watch the video on the big screen, and she pissed herself voluminously and uncontrollably. Someone had to fetch some towels to put under her.

A few hours later, Sandy came home and started her swim training as usual, doing multiple lengths, thinking that as everywhere was quiet, no one was about and she was totally alone. (At that time of day that was normally true.) She later denied that, but our proof was she took a surreptitious pee on the gravel path by pulling the crotch area of her one piece suit to one side, having a quick taste of the stream as it came out with her fingers, as his her want, and readjusted her massive tits which were straining to escape their Lycra prison. Then dived in. Sven had brought the croc inside the house, but switched it on and crept down there and put it in while she was heading the other way. But she sussed it immediately. How? Does being sassy* help you to tell a real croc from a fake one? She just sidled up to it, and started humping it against her pussy.

Is that you, Stevie-boy, Mr Irresponsible Adult, trying to fuck with my head? You're twisting my melon, man, and I don't mean my breasts. I know I asked you to get me a ...