The Grand Eclectic Pornocomedy: Chapter 3 - Sex Stories

The Grand Eclectic Pornocomedy: Chapter 3

... Elvis impersonators grab Jessica and Liz, handcuffing them. Another one has his gun pointed at Jess, and another has his gun pointed at Liz. The fifth guy swaggers up to me and removes his helmet. He looks a lot like Elvis, I'm kind of impressed, but still scared, of course. He grabs a black handle protruding from his waistband, and yanks it, revealing a badass comb that he uses to fix his pompadour. "We've been looking for you, boy." "You have?" "Mhm, since this morning." "Damn." "You're coming with us." "And what about them?" I look at the girls. "Well, they're expendable. If I'm gonna be completely honest with you, we can't just leave them here. They're witnesses, they're gonna have to die." I look at them. They're scared as hell. I obviously can't let this happen. Jessica is one of my best friends in the whole world, and Liz, well, you tend to feel attached to someone after you fuck them so many times. "With all due respect, Mr. Presley-" "Sergeant Presley." "With all due respect, Sergeant Presley, fuck that." "Sorry, kid. Just takin' care of business." "They're going to come with me. If I'm of any real importance to whoever you're working for, you'll allow me this, and I'll cooperate with whatever you need me to. So will ...

... they. Just don't hurt them." Sergeant Presley pauses, then he steps away. He mutters into his radio, and I faintly hear a garbled response. He turns toward his men. "Alright, fellas, they're coming with us." They lead us out the broken doorway, to a massive black helicopter in the yard. Jessica looks at me. "How did we not fucking hear that?" The Elvises lead us into the back of the chopper, get in after us, and take off. The rotors are much too loud, so nobody even tries to talk. Jess and Liz look beyond terrified, completely speechless. This is understandable, given the strange and sudden turn of events. A simple thank you would be nice, but I'm not bent out of shape about it. I take another look at Liz. She looks like she's gonna cry. I'm not a very outwardly sympathetic person, but seeing her like that really has me fucked up. I lean toward her and put my hand on her shoulder. "DON'T WORRY. YOU'RE GONNA BE OKAY," I scream over the noise of the propellers. "WHAT?" "YOU'RE GONNA BE ALRIGHT." "I CAN'T HEAR YOU." "NEVER MIND," I tell as I give her a wave of dismissal. Jessica leans over toward me. She looks really anxious. She's shaking. Now I'm afraid. I ask her what's wrong. "WHAT'S WRONG?" "I REALLY HAVE TO PEE," she says.