1. Silver heat


    Date: 9/18/2015, Categories: First Time Gay Male, Author: riterman2, Source: xHamster

    ... that single moment I decided inside my deepest self I would always say yes to this man, I would throw myself into whatever he brought my way. &#034I don't know if I am gay because I am the opposite of you. I have never made love to anyone. I find myself attracted to boys sometimes, but I am turned on by pictures, uh, you know, er, uh, of women, like in magazines and stuff. But with my strange life, not being in regular school with k**s my age, I never had a chance to be with anyone.&#034 I felt immeasurably sad at this declaration, though I had never viewed myself that way before. Was I a total loser? &#034Neal,&#034 Lance had said, &#034For god's sake, don't be ashamed of being a virgin. That's certainly not anything to be ashamed of. And as for the confusion, I remember it well when I was the same age as you. Perhaps you will never know your true self. Perhaps you will be on a life-long quest to discover yourself, as I am, as perhaps we all are. Maybe you are like me. I call myself ambisexual, but I hate putting labels and limitations on people, especially on myself. I am what I am and I like what I am. Some day I hope you can make that statement about yourself, too, though I sense you are not yet there.&#034 As he spoke he moved his hand from my forearm to my hand, so we were effectively holding hands across the table. Somehow that did not seem to matter, that I was holding hands with a man. Somehow it felt comfortable and natural to feel the warmth of his touch. We ...
    ... talked for a long time that night. Everyone else had gone, except the club manager. We sat in a pool of light in our little corner of the darkened world. I will ever mark it as the night I became a man. That I had turned eighteen was incidental. That I had met a man who treated me as a man, that was significant! He left me that night with his business card. On the back he had written the address of the marina where his yacht was moored and an invitation to sail with him on Sunday. That night I slept little. My mind, my heart was filled with inchoate images of his eyes and his firm body, that errant curl in the middle of is forehead. My little dick was hard most of the night, but I did not, for some reason, resort to my usual relief of a quick 2 or 3 minute jack off. Perhaps I though this encounter rated more than that. The next day, as I went about my business, I felt a strange and liberated sense of myself. I no longer looked on my mother and father in the same way. My parent's house seemed smaller than it had the day before, their conversation meaningless. I seemed astonished and in awe of the life that roiled around me. Had things always been so bright, so alive? I felt strangely confident with myself as I had never been before. Through it all, I mulled continuously about the invitation. Did I really trust this man I had never met before? Would I actually commit myself to being alone with him on the open ocean, trapped on a small boat? What would he expect of me? More ...
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