1. Beginnings: Chapter 4 - Room For Change


    Date: 7/13/2016, Categories: Lesbian Author: claire2013, Source: LushStories

    Later that evening I chased like a child through the wide-open meadows of my mind, carefully sweeping as many of my butterfly thoughts into a delicate net as I could. The beach was now empty and only the sleepy ghosts of happy days remained. A tired sun, its dwindling energy spreading like a worn, burnished cape around it, was balancing uneasily on the far horizon. The darkening sea was giving up cool hints of her salt-scented breath, which every so often lifted wisps of hair from my face and gently caressed my cheeks. Underfoot, the tepid, soft-orange and pale-grey pebbles, like solid, speckled eggs smoothed by the ebb and flow of liquid years, shifted and slid treacherously. I sat down and opened my net to give freedom to the fragile wings within. I realised that I had reached the age of twenty-one without knowing who I was or where I was going. Events of the previous few days had unexpectedly begun to slide open the stubborn and weighty doors of my heart and confront me with questions that were as strong, demanding and mysterious as Veronica. In a matter of days I had somehow allowed a woman I barely knew to move into my mind and exercise control over it, albeit a delicious control. I was romantically, as well as sexually, inexperienced. My two previous relationships had been short, although neither had been particularly sweet. My mother had been unimpressed when I introduced her to my suitors and, although both were intelligent, stable young men who I suppose many girls ...
    ... of my age would have been delighted to be involved with romantically, under the surface I never felt comfortable with either of them. That said, I had never consciously felt attracted to other women either, which made my experiences of the previous days that much more perplexing. Veronica had obviously awoken something which had lain dormant within me; feelings, attractions and, yes, lusts. It felt like the start of something; it felt like beginnings. It was, however, more than just lust, I knew, although the power of that feeling and the urges it produced could not be denied. I felt as though my life had somehow suddenly and dramatically been switched on and I began to wonder what might happen if I allowed myself simply to become abandoned to the push and pull of the wave. I was immediately met with the consuming thought that ‘allowing myself’ no longer felt like an alternative. It felt as though I was now committed to being led to whatever destination awaited. I knew my life was changing, but it felt like there was plenty of room for change. My mind drifted back on the easy evening breeze to events of earlier that day. As it did so, I saw her face again, painting itself onto the soft canvas of my mind. My heart suddenly began to beat that little bit faster. Between my legs I felt a delicious tingling and the exciting warmth that was beginning to become more and more familiar to me. In my heart, it felt as much like love as anything I had ever known. I sighed, however, as I ...
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