My Big Fat Farty Friend 4 : Festive Farts - Sex Stories

My Big Fat Farty Friend 4 : Festive Farts

... He was a bit slow tonight, so I decided to try again with my cabbie. I opened my mouth ready to ask him if he had a nice day yesterday when the smell hit me. Oof, that was silent but very very deadly. I decided to keep my mouth shut. Thrubblaaaaart That one took me by surprise and it rattled off the leatherette of the seat. I shifted about, but that wasn't exactly my best idea; it just made the smell escape all the more. I could feel another one coming on. The slow acting sprouts really were having their revenge now! I fixed a concentrated stare on my face, my sight blurring slightly with the effort as I thundered one, two, three out in quick succession. I clenched my plush, luscious butt cheeks together tightly, hoping to contain the stench. I could imagine the cellulite heavy flesh rippling with the effort as I peered out through the condensation heavy window, just hoping to see a street I recognised outside. The sooner I was home the better. Prpppppppt I nearly gagged. My sausage casings were not containing these farts at all and, soon enough, my activities were noticed by the grump behind the wheel. I could see his nose twitch in the rearview mirror and eventually, his eyes shot up to take my oh so innocent appearance in with some considerable accusation "Have you farted?" I tried to look surprised, but it didn't work. I could feel another brewing at that very moment. I shrugged and batted my eyelids "Yeah, sorry. Christmas eh? Too much rich food" But this grumpy git ...

... wasn't the type to fall for my girlie charms and he groaned with horror before pulling the car up kerbside. "What?" I asked "What are you doing?" "You know what" he said, jerking his head towards the pavement as he switched the meter off "Out" "Out?" I asked. By my reckoning I was a good five minute walk from home "You're actually chucking me out....for farting?" "It fuckin' reeks in here" he complained "Go on, hop it" "But it's Christmas" I protested weakly "C'mon where's your Christmas spirit you old Scrooge?" "If I didn't have to pay maintenance to my bitch ex wife and my son, I wouldn't be driving dirty fat chubbas like you home," he snapped angrily "I'd be drinking Christmas spirit down the pub with my mates. Now will you get out?!" "Fine" I snapped back, pushing at the door and - I have to confess - feeling very grateful for the cold fresh air that immediately greeted me. I wasn't however feeling grateful or pleased about the snow that was falling, I was going to get soaked. I waddled up to the driver's side door and huffed as I brought down the window "How much do I owe you then?" As he glanced back at the meter, I spun around and brought myself up on my tiptoes. His head was just turning back to find himself confronted by my broad ripe bulging black legging clad arse cheeks right in his face. Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrpppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt My God, that one felt good! "Ugh! You dirty...." I ...