Love is a Place Ch. 02: The Solution - Sex Stories

Love is a Place Ch. 02: The Solution

... was anyone else, I'd assume they were flirting with me. But she isn't. She's just being Samantha. She's overstimulated. Emotionally, she's a child, a pre-teen, in an adult's body. Sex is a word she doesn't understand. I can remember her aged 15, rocking back and forth with her hands over her ears during Biology class as the reproductive system was explained. And that was straight sex. The idea of girl-on-girl sex would leave her catatonic. I mean, she knows the rest of us went to Gay Pride last summer, but I don't think she understood what it was. I've certainly never shared with her that I'm bi or that I had a girlfriend briefly last year. She reacted badly enough to me staying the night with James while I was seeing him.

I take a deep breath and get changed into my pjs.

She's sitting up on the bed when I come in. I hang up my clothes.

As I turn around she blindsides me: "Sarah?" her voice is pained, nervous, quizzical, "Do you want to have sex with me?" She's practically grimacing.

Fuck! Shit! She knows! Oh crap, no, this is a disaster. I need to cover this... but it's too late, I can see that, somehow, she's seen the truth of my desire in my face and she's folding, crashing.

Fuck, fuck, fuck. I need to cover up, row this back, deny, deny, deny.

"Samantha, no, I don't. Oh God! Did I make you think that I fancied you? Oh Samantha, sorry, I was just admiring your clothes. And ignore Kate, she's just somebody I work with, I don't know why she thought we were ...

... a couple. I'd never do that to you, I know you'd never want sex..." I'm babbling, but I can see it's no use. She's folded, she's crashed, she's gone. Her hands are over her ears and she's in the foetal position, groaning. Fuck, this is Michael Bloody Burns all over again. Shit, shit, shit. Is it too late to get a valium into her? No, she'd never swallow it now.

I mindlessly repeat to her that she's safe, she's safe, she's safe, that nobody is going to touch her, nobody would touch her. Fuck! We were doing so well, sharing hugs, holding hands. I can't bear it. I'm crying. This is going to set her back so far.

I'm suddenly so tired.

I'm so disgusted with myself. How could I dare to desire this vulnerable, precious creature? How dare I want to stain her innocence? What kind of fucking false friend, fucking snake in the grass am I? I ease the covers over her. I nearly climb in next to her, but stop myself. That's the last fucking thing she needs: the woman she is worried wants to sexually abuse her getting into her bed.

Well, Lydia's out for the night. I'll sleep in her room. And then.... Fuck! And then? Who fucking knows? We've got another 6 months on the lease here. Shit. I should never have agreed to this, I should have insisted we keep looking for another flat. I shouldn't have been so weak and given into my desires to share her space.

I whisper to her that'll all be ok. Then turn out the light.

Sobbing, I make my way to Lydia's room on the other side of the ...