Just wanted to vent and get my story out - Sex Stories

Just wanted to vent and get my story out

... feel about what I have heard. It is all entirely depressing. I fucked up the one time that I was starting to feel actual feelings like a normal person, and now we are just friends. It works, I guess. I still like her, and I feel like I want to try and get back what I lost, but I have learned and listened to enough people to know that is exactly the wrong thing to do. So I will sit back, listen to them vent, and speak when spoken to. I really do hate what I have become. 21 years old, too afraid to venture out and attempt something I might or might not like. I live in a household where I have to go to church every single Sunday even though I just want to sleep in. And when I am at church I ignore everything that happens there, just going through the motions that I have learned through my life of being at church. My friend, the one from psych not the ex. I’ve told her a little about all this. Not the empty inside feelings bit, but the sexual experiences, at least the ones from Peru and Canada, not Nevada. I went through very vague details, because the topic of my ex popped up and she told me about the “she said that she could feel you all the time when you hugged!” and that was a reason we broke up. My friend and my ex both know that I am a complete virgin. My ex got my first kiss, I sure as fuck didn’t want to try and explain away “yeah, I’ve eaten out two or three girls, depending on your view of things, well before you!” I figured it would have been a nice little surprise ...

... for her, and I would just chalk it up to being a natural at it. Anyway, my friend said that I need to get a girl drunk and just fuck them. But I am not that type of guy. I would love to do that. But I also know that there are several things holding me back from ever doing that. One being that I still live at home, in a very religious house, no place to bring back a drunk chick to fuck. Two, I would never be able to walk up to a girl, in a bar, chat her up and get her drunk enough to get back home to fuck her. Third, I am dead afraid of a girl waking up and calling rape and me spending the next large portion of my life in jail for just wanting to lose my V card. But the final reason, reason number four, I am just not that kind of guy. I am tired of things going fast, all I’ve gotten from that was stinky breath, a damp chin, a sore jaw, sticky fingers and blue balls. I want to explore people, get to know them, I want to date them and truly understand a fraction of their life and see that we are compatible before I attempt to do anything. I’ve fucked that up already with my ex, even though we are still friends and surprisingly it isn’t all that awkward. And then, it is hard to explain of convince myself that I am actually depressed. I’ve been flipping back and forth between my two options. When I am alone, away from the two people who I would consider to be my friends, and who actually are my friends I like to think, I do feel horribly alone and depressed. I can’t talk to anyone ...